Ignorance vs. Ignorance

I was going thru my pile of unread newspapers in my room when I ran across an article by Pat Evangelista. She was talking about the statements by an escaped detainee who shared that he had seen Sherlyn and Karen, two UP students who disappeared 2 years ago. There are strong suspicions that the military, or some element in it, has been responsible for their disappearance.

There's an awful big chance the suspicions are true. My granddad, a retired PC officer, abhors the AFP. He called them brutal dogs of war. And from what I've read and seen so far, I completely agree with him.

I've read lessons on how to combat insurgency. If fighting a guerrilla force, you conduct unconventional tactics of your own. You win the hearts and minds of the people who provide shelter to the enemy. You do not give them ammunition, material for propaganda, to use against you.

But that is what's happening right now. Army Intelligence seem to be in the habit of terrorizing students in campuses, as well as the citizens of far-flung, isolated villages. The way I see it, bullies get to wear uniforms and bear arms in order to do what they do best. Push people around and basically get what they want. I'm not talking about just bullying. We're talking about stealing, raping, and murder.

Modernization calls for a small, mobile, well-armed force that is well-trained in warfare. But what we have is a rabble of a mob that has no idea how to engage an elusive enemy and instead panics and does what it does best: mess things up. Modernization fund? Good luck if it manages to reach the people who deserve them most.

Forget about the achievements in the Pacific and Korean Wars as well as the Huk and MNLF insurgencies. Those days are over it seems. We once had nationalists who fought for ideals. But now? We got bullyboys who managed to get sanction for their crimes.

I'm not saying the AFP is evil or corrupt. I'm talking about the minority who are in cahoots with officers who have grubby fingers stuck in to many pies. Officers who have political patrons and seem to make corruption just worse in this country...
It's a tough challenge. Rooting out corruption and ignorance will take monumental effort. But too many people have gone apathetic...

Cynicism and Bitterness

Two traits I worry I'll acquire soon. If my black moods are any indicators, those two words will be my prime definition. And it's irritating to be a cynic when almost everyone around you is so damned cheerful.

Life has ground me exceedingly fine. It's all I can do to keep on going each time I wake up. I used to rise with a smile on my face. I now wonder whatever happened to that fellow... He's gone now and I can barely remember him. I think that if I don't remember how it was like, the numbness in my eyes will be permanent.

There's a comic strip that celebrates cynicism. And it's well portrayed by Rand al'Thor in the Wheel of TIme series. I should really change my role models to people who are more...positive? But I can't get rid of the mantra in my head. Hope for nothing, expect nothing, and you will never be disappointed.

My Almost-Forgotten Addiction

And that happens to be Astro Empires. I play on two servers, Alpha and Ceti. I've had my accounts for over a year now and so far I've managed to avoid becoming a farm. Now if I only had my own Net connection, I'd be deadly...

Anyways, war's come upon my guilds on the two servers. One is even quite brutal. Ceti is now plunged in a server-wide war. Which means my mobile fleet, which keeps getting slaughtered as time passes by, is again on the move to rally and no galaxy is safe. I really hope I can be the one raiding for a change of pace. I'm getting quite tired of being surprised by attacks.

PlayStation 3 a reality

It was a while and it took luck and teamwork before a dream became reality. I am now the proud co-owner of a frikking PS3!

After years of wishful thinking and daydreaming too much, it's now a reality. A unit was offered at half its going rate and with much-needed help, a unit is now available for play.

Just a few things that needs ironing out. FIrst off, I don't have a television, much less an HDTV that seems to go so well with a PS3.

Secondly, I don't have very many games. The games in the market are all originals and they cost quite a bit even if they're used. Which translates to me buying a game once every quarter... I should really choose my games. No sense in wasting over a thousand pesos for something I won't enjoy.

And I can imagine Davao throwing a fit if ever they learn about this. They seem to have this mindset that I'm supposed to be a plowhorse who sends them money and not allowed to have fun. Which I find ironic. The whole idea of me going solo is to leave my crappy past life and build a new one.

Here's to hoping and having to something else to look forward to besides drinking and going out. There goes what chance I have for sleep though.

Not Knowing

The fact of not knowing anything can get me crazy. Always been inquisitive. If I can't look it up in the library, I Google it. Or Wiki it. Or just ask. But if knowing is not advisable, it means biting the bullet for me. The urge to know is there but for good reasons, I can't act on them. Damn.

13th Month Pay

I know I shouldn't complain but somehow I'm not happy that our 13th month pay will be released next week. I don't look forward to having a December that has only my regular pay. I've become used to having a larger-than-usual pay whenever I check my ATM...

December is the month of giving. And with limited capability, I can't give that much... especially to people who have been so generous to me...

On the plus side I can finally get my self solvent. No more debts. Finally. I should really cut down on nights-out. My pay's not as big as the others so there's no way I can compete with them.

Obama and Call Centers

I keep hearing from the guys on the floor that having a Democrat elected is a bad thing. They keep saying that once he's in position, he'll put a stop to all outsourcing and even reverse the growth here in the Philippines.

Me? I don't think so. For starters, that would run counter to American big business interests. They outsource to save money. And they'll spend money in lobbying to keep their savings. And secondly, Obama isn't a hardliner. As President, he'll compromise with the Republicans... Even if the Republicans are a small minority now.

As for our company, I don't think we'll be affected. We're not an outsourcing company. We're inhouse and we work directly for our company. No ifs, no buts, we're listed as employees in the corporate headquarters.

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I just hope that new tax code kicks in soon. I've been paying a ludicrous amount of tax each pay. It's getting awful. No telling if the tax we citizens pay is getting spent wisely. Too many corruption to suit my taste. If my tax payment is going to be wasted, then I better waste it myself.

Nonetheless, I'm still looking forward to my 13th month pay. You see, I've never had one before. I have a messy job history.

Ice and Shadow

In essence, that is what I am. I'm the guy in the background who doesn't talk much. I should remember that. I should also remember that I know how to wear masks to suit my situations. A crying shame that I tend to forget that sometimes.

What I'm saying is I should really remember how to keep myself cold. It's been part of my psyche for the past 16 years. If I want to change that core, then I better do it elsewhere. Not in the office, not in my dormitory. As the saying goes, never reave from your own backyard.

Anyways, here's to hoping. Too bad I've already put my heart in a box and I'm keeping it there. I just can't feel anything right now...