Falling

It's remarkable how a girl caught my attention and held it. I know it's been only months since my last disaster yet here I am in the same situation. But unlike before, I'm keeping all emotions in rein and I'm not doing anything. To all intent and purposes, I merely crush on the girl.

But the problem is, some of the people around her tipped my hand to her and now she's reacting. Whereas before she was open and friendly, nowadays she's secretive as to what she's doing and all her responses are curt. Unless I point out how curt they are, she would stay that way.

Does it help that our common friends are sympathetic of my situation? Somewhat. I'm just hurt that she keeps pushing me away and has shut herself off from me. I sometimes wonder what will happen if I talk to her directly and lay down my cards and show her what is really in my hand.

But from what I can figure out of her, she'll avoid the confrontation and merely fade away. I won't have that. One way or the other, I'll figure out something. And soon. These churning emotions are getting the best of me. And to think I've always prided myself in being emotionless and cold. There goes some of my basic assumptions about myself...