A Lost Generation... And Lessons

It's sad. No matter the distance between my mom and her sisters, blood tells. I just hope I manage to steer clear of their lot in life.

I can't really relate to their generation. One thing they have in common and it's that one thing I avoid the most. Their negativity. Whether it's my mom or her two younger sisters, they all complain about the same things. Poor health, poverty, loneliness...

I keep trying to cheer them up but nothing seems to work. I've practically given up on my mom. During the 14 years I was with her in Davao, all my efforts to get her to live her life ended for naught. She still wallowed in self-pity about her unhappy marriage and unloving family. Meh. I kept repeating the mantra "Only you can truly help yourself", but it seems my words fell on deaf ears.

No better for the two younger aunts of mine. One's in Mandaluyong but her life's on the way down it seems. I can't get her to accept her girlfriend's proposal. Relocate to Bicol and get herself established there. But no. She refused to listen to pleas.

And my aunt in Canada? Ha! She's on welfare and the emails she had sent me are the most extreme examples of self-pity I've ever seen. Damnation but going thru her words was a struggle in itself.

I don't even want to imagine what my aunt who's incarcerated in Laguna. The fact that she lost everything due to drug addiction means there must be an awful lot for her to gripe about. Let's not add the fact that I think she hates me personally. She was always so hard on me back then. Faugh! That was ages ago. Better forget about it.

Mitch's right. I refuse to have their pessimism drag me down. I'm a cynic but I don't give up on every day that I still breathe. The attitude I have is to fight, fight, fight, 'til the dying of the light.

If they won't enjoy what pleasure there is... Meh. They waster their lives I think. Hmmm... I wonder where they went wrong. Oh. I know. They wasted their youth. They also didn't hold a stable job. No earnings, no preparations whatsover. Damn. Not planting early does tell. Misery if the only fruit for lack of direction. And lack of action.

Lesson: I better start earning for something. My own house, savings, a business or two, and a nest fund. I'm gonna need those. Let's face it. I may escape my predecessors bleakness, but small chance I can escape our genetic weakness. Oh God, how I wish I take after my father's side. There doesn't seem to be much illnesses in his family tree.